32. The Rain Revelation

Personal/Friends & Family

Rangka Karangan:
-eat
-Subaidah
-Penang CM
-Mr. Lim
-Guan Eng
For more, read on in Hooi's post...hahah

Freaking heavy and strong wind raining storm...

...in a midst of the song, "X-Japan - The Last Song" from Hooi's filefactory and then suddenly my radio plays "Joe Satriani - I Just Wanna Rock"! haha. story telling time hahahaha. after I left Hooi back at his sanctum(not scrotum ah) I stumbled across this one hot/lanky/sexy/pretty lady. She's an angmorchabo. Not really hot because....

It's RAINING heavily!!! and she's walking in the rain (X-Japan - Endless Rain playing in my head haha). Not smiling. Doesn't look like any prostitute and also because as I know that area(Chulia Street doesn't offer real deal) but then who knows. Positively, she's good looking and my car passed her and we exchanged glance. She, still looking sad. Not that I am supposed to give her a lift...she just walked on somberly...all wet.

ya noe..I just hope that she's safe from any harm and just dry herself up when she's under any shelter be it at home or hotel/etc.

31. Quantum of Solace: The Funeral of Hearts

Stress-talk

Currently enjoying the loudness of Avenged Sevenfold and downloading the latest Dragonforce XD

Enlightenment for a brighter path, dissertation of processes and inquisition into the sub-element of life...

The fork and spoon of life..(in some cases, chopsticks and knives). What are their equivalents in life? They poke, cut, pierce, dig, split, scoop, etc and finally dismember any particular object. In life, I think it's either the heart or the brain or might be the dick. I'm still looking into it whether our heart guides the hand or the body does the sometimes evil bidding of the brain. Emotion vs Brainpower. That doesn't matter so much now.

The play of feelings. The game of hearts. The link of emotions. The immeasurable degree of temptation. Love. For my level(personal), it's given the simple term "feeling". Not hunch. "Human-to-human Attraction Hormone".

So, what's up people. What is going on in this world. Or rather this life that breaks more than it may mend yet it is so fore-warned that it shall be handled with care. We just let it flow naturally. But we do know how to control it. And why we humans, are still so naive and stubborn only to let our hearts be broken.

(this is freaking me out, I am not so sure what I wrote actually make any sense yet..I actually forgot what I've drafted in mind to write here)

I had conversations with a few persons today including my mum this very first day after returning from jungle 400+km away. And they all involve love.

No, I'm not in trouble. But the surrounding is in trouble. It might not be as bad as I think. But to me, it hurts to think about it. When especially friendships are at stake of "feelings"-relationships. The single very powerful element in life. But it's two-faced. If you learn Moral on Moral Values and Ethics, there's two kinds of value: an instrumental and another is intrinsic. The instrumental, as it's related to materials defines the values as to nurture something so as to materialise something else with no real true perceived good intention, usually bad as being materialistic to the extent of being self-centred. Intrinsic on the other hand defines the values as natural and good in intention straightforwardly. In this case of love, the facade usually looks real good. Very normal, every normal typical human with no strong abstaining foundation could fall for it.

As mentioned, it could destroy. It brings chaos and disorganization. And I learn this from the people, some say, "it's best to remain as friends, otherwise intimacy could break us apart even from being just friends". But of course, some smarter hearts or people who truly understand the meaning of love and care without the lure of intimacy managed to get through life happily and ever after. It varies among many different types of people. But the concept is there I think, you either accidentally blow it or keep the flame burning with true mutual respect.

It's agonizing. Not as directly a lover or victim. Indirectly.. I gain my kind of experience and knowledge from friends and acquaintances. The suffering. The pain. Of each person come and go and hurting one another. I don't know. It's worse when you're dealing with a higher degree of maturity and there is more serious life-threatening emotions being involved. Meaning more harm generated if a breakage were to happen.

During the younger teenage years, love may just be infatuations, puppy-loves(my term is "puppet-love") and plain love-at-first-sights...that which when a failure occurs, it only injures at most the level of having false expectations or failed anticipations. In my opinion, it's immature and serious immaturity does lead to premature life delusion(or sometimes deaths). But at higher level, usually either at the start of adulthood or later on, a great deal of series of mental fluctuations takes place. Because at higher level of maturity, more values are being taken into seriously and expected/requested such as care, comfort, attention, material and etc., basically of a good life). When they are not met, mutual understanding starts to fail. If not handled appropriately or when one individual loses out to another competitor then the fallen may suffer and break.

The point here is not directing the blame to any side or particular figure. It's kind of like a key and lock. The whole point actually involves the "key into the lock" basic, which is the source and embryo to physical/sexual attraction a.k.a temptation. I have told this more than once in the same day (weird enough) on the basic derivation that I've attained from various sources that, men want women (women also want men) and usually women are caught in between (I'm not sure about the worldwide sex population). So women are like switches or diodes in electrical circuits which are men. Take for example, if there's a problem with the switch or the diode in a circuit, definitely electrical current will suffer some resistance or breakage. It's not to put the women at fault. I am merely showing the link of "I-need-you and you-need-me".

Sometimes it looks as though there's a succubus ruining lives but seriously it couldn't be helped. Humans, in my opinion make up a part of the animal kingdom on Mother Earth. So it's only natural, instinctive or intuition that we men and women succumb easily to temptations. Another way positively is, also natural, the mating need which prompted humans to hunt relentlessly and compete against each other.

My mum added, men do not think with their head. They think with their dicks. How true in certain cases. Though you(or we) may not feel it or not admit it but I think that is only normal.

It makes up the whole balance system in life. The ups and downs equal constant, that means there can not be ups only all the time and vice-versa. Some people living happily together, some enjoy playing with hearts while some do the "enjoy the silence" loneliness.

Basically, I see the play of love is doing more harm to people now. This seriously has an impact at an early stage of believing love is pure and free(flowing). But for me, it's still a long way to go from here and hopefully I don't get involved(in any treacherous relationship)(speaking from Jared's point).

After all, it's a wicked game we play. In life.

[No brains were screwed writing this screwy post, only plain mental torture inside out and plain sleepiness]

Friends and foes, buckle up. Life is fun but it is no joke.

[Thanks to the people who had inspiring talks on these with me. Quantum of Solace is of the upcoming 007 Bond movie title. Funeral of Hearts is of a song thievery from HIM. Inspiring phrases or words from Marilyn Manson - Heart-shaped Glasses(When The Heart Guides The Hand), Depeche Mode - Enjoy The Silence, Gorillaz - Feel Good Inc. and Chris Isaak - Wicked Game. Not forgetting the Bernoulli's Theory.]

If you don't understand this post, forget about it I will try write something comprehensible. It's been a trouble for me to story-tell and explain things properly to people...urgh..twisted tongue

30. Lack of Productivity

Personal

hmm...I had the best proper sleep ever since ages..except the fact that the centre of my bed is flattened and it's just as hard as the wood surface beneath it.

Slept from 9pm to 8am this morning. The goodness is defined by having no worries or memos in the mind for any plan or duty. Just sleep. Pure rest. Perfect relaxation. Genuine body restoration. What can I say, I need to start revising for another subject for mid term. No rush. I have the weekends. After that, ahha...7 wonders of the world will come crashing down under my weight of freedom.

oh ya...hmmm...bad. For the past 5 or 7 posts I have been just updating on my life. Nothing intriguing or vague huh..no philosophy or principle preaching. I have this latest idea to relate to out-of-the-world space and quantum physics field, stuffs about energy and entropy to our life(anyway our life basically a minute part of it, so it's practically a talk outside the box). I can't. I couldn't. My brain just speaks out all of them at the wrong time. Even in the toilet ideas for melodies or lyrics just never bloom. Lack of sleep? Or rather inconvenience of having no internet 24/7. Lack of inspiration but there's plenty wor...except that they are all for the wrong purpose. haha. And every time I thought of penning it down(typing) I rethink whether my points are valid or in accordance to my own principles. That's also when I have the jam to post those words. I shouldn't think too much, maybe. Let it flow, babe.. natural and smooth. The fact is the road is now coarse so I have to.. rest more first. {oh shit i just used the technical terms...}

So this post is being a self-complaint post. gotta continue research for my study...

[The song Bon Jovi - Have A Nice Day playing now. I dedicated it to all of you. It will be in the filefactory too]
Another complaint, I need my radio or rather my CDs at home...my songs in laptop are getting dry and that might be a fault to my lack of productivity so here goes youtubing..

=D

29. Droplets under the Eaves with Cigarette Ashes

Personal

hmm...what's up? Tree top? Canopy? No, INTI Nilai food is good.

It's our lunch place for this whole puasa month.

Hmm...workload just got relieved. With tests and one midterm done. All scored 90% and above. My Physics kheng eh, 97% hahaha but it will only contribute either 9 or 10 marks out of the final result. Physics midterm next Monday. Interesting topics covered. Favourites eh...especially stuffs that deal with Entropy.

And then poof! Disappear from mainland. Will appear somewhere I belong to. Time to rev up my Viva la Ride!!! Anyway oil price is around RM 2.55 per litre. That is price of one piece of special recipe chicken prepared by campus cafe.

hey, i'm facing a language barrier now. Speaking like handicapped...and especially being a Chinese and no Chinese words can come out well. hey, I read and communicate in English most of the time and we Penangites have Hokkien as lingua franca so...I couldn't order food/drinks properly at chinese stalls!!! #$%^&sh*T~ and two times already my ordered carrot juice turned into warm cooling drink("geng geng" drink)...I dunno how the hell he(shud be some asian foreign worker) interprets "CARROT". He himself reiterated it. Nevermind la but I'm deficient of fruits laaa..

OK. Too "tired" already. Havent been sleeping at nights for the past weeks. Time for the clock to take its toll...

28. Merdeka Special: Rise of the Jungle

Personal

I slept early for two days straight! VERY early! hahaha

Because I was wrecking my brains to complete my Physics assignment using the weekend holidays. I was up the whole 2 nights of Merdeka eve and er..Merdeka early morning(midnight). hmm..actually it's somewhat fun, being awake until all others wake the next morning then go breakfast with them. Then only fall apart at 11am. I skipped lunch and wake up at 5pm to bathe and do laundry. How fun...

And then...the celebration. Syiok-sendiri celebration. It just so happened we wanna toxicate ourselves on the Merdeka eve. Tuborg from 7-Eleven. We then went in to stroll around INTI Nilai. My senior commented that the place was dry...not hip and hot, no chicks spotted mer dat's why..

[peeled and pasted the brand sticker on my closet door]

It's....almost 6am now. Jonathan playing CS:Source. Wise and good-willing Muslim boys should be up by now for their morning prayers. I need to turn my clock around eh..nightshift studying is not so healthy..nocturnal I have became, start sleeping at the time the sun rises..

[few days later].I seriously need to control a bit and save money(for a scotch whisky next timeXD). I bought and drank Jolly Shandy...then the next day to supposedly keep myself awake and high to do my work(but I didn't--time to relax) I had Danish Royal Stout...so far RM17 on alcohol.

PS(random):hmm...don't think I'll get to enjoy to the fullest of World Cup 2010 because it will fall around the final exam of semester 5..or hopefully it's during the semester break hah

"I'm just too young to worry..." ~Seize The Day, Avenged Sevenfold

Assignments!!! So fun yet so tedious...but Moral assignment is the suckest. The topics in the syllabus is really crazy...so so so so Stressm-ish stuffs. But in Bahasa Melayu and my BM really sucks big hole...imagine preaching Stressm in Bahasa Kebangsaan.

That's all for today, I am going to sleep the whole day...