Thursday, 12 March 2015

109. Through the Eyes of the Pancake Hawker

Ideals/ Personal

- Through my eyes and mind.

First of all, thanks to Ninie~ for encouraging me to write on (especially on travel experiences - yes, on Mount Rinjani climb. Ninie is my fellow adventure/travel friend.) But I don't have yet the motivation and maybe, honestly no full and free-spirited spare time to lay down my accounts on the climbing experience. Much have been recorded through the photos and mostly kept dearly in the heart and mind. I did keep a timeline journal though.

It's late in the morning after a bank visit, a little boy his hand held by his mummy walk into a hawker centre. The mother said they will have some pancakes for lunch. Boy nods. So she makes the order and they stand by the pan-fried pancake hawker stall. This boy watches as the uncle cooks magic. With steam and smoke billowing up everywhere (it's common in any hawker centre.)

"Uncle, tua eh chi pao."
 "M: uncle, big one. one packet."
"Pao eh chi pao. ho, ho."
 "Uncle: one packet. ok ok." 
"lai, nor kor." 
"Uncle: come, two ringgit."
"oo chau bo uncle? Hor lu goh kor." 
"M: got change, uncle? Give you five ringgit."

"ei sai ei sai. chau lu sah kor. ho ah, kamsiah kamsiah."
 "Uncle: can can. Change you three ringgit. ok, thank you."

"M: thank you."

So, I am (kinda) back (again.) haha. Was having just a little chat with my mum (I miss my family and home), and a bruder on our homeland (island to be specific) Penang and its heritage preservation. So much fuss about it in recent years. The matter has been around for decades since independence of the country anyway. It's so much fuss because we Penangites want our home to look like our home in they way it has always been very badly. The state government has been trying to do whatever it can. But of course nothing is perfect. There are times when nothing works out fine and times when efforts bear fruits. The keypoint is having growth and state wealth proportionate and at the same time preserving its heritage, maximum? Or just looks like that but in actual fact everything is like an overdressed mannequin. Read this article on Penang being soulless which has been on share circulation on Facebook among my fellow islander friends. Really, we really love Penang so much really.

I am not touching on how are we doing it or how do we do it. This just an expression. I am not involved in the cultural preservation and conservation of the heritages of Penang. Just a little bit here and there of how things look like through my experiences.

Just the mention of the word "Penang" whether as a name of place, your home or something to do with visiting places most locals will have a picture of hawker food stalls if not mobile street vendors if not the simple yet majestic Penang Bridge if not hill cable car if not Kek Lok Si temple if not traffic jam! No, traffic jam is exclusive to KL. My cousin says it's tenfold worse in Jakarta, Indonesia. True enough, I'd experienced it along the roads and highways around Bandung(also Indonesia.) yada yada

Yes, I am talking about the food stalls in Penang. Penangites just love to eat. And being health conscious at the same time. That's why we don't have the rate of obesity like in America. Just look at your food! How much oil and fat are in it - really yummy. Even Halal food in the streets- picture Nasi Kandar, served with generous amount of fat and oil. Surrender, as long as you enjoy eating.

That's one of the things that make up the picturesque Penang Island. A lot of chinese being non-Muslims so you have a lot of non-Halal food by the streets. I admit, even most simple Chinese dishes have pork lards all over them. I can read your mind, it reads char koay teow. Google whatever names/terms I post here which you think are alien.

The matter I am expressing on is the fact which brings about the existence of so many hawker food stalls there. I don't know even if there is a time when it all started. Or is it just natural, consequential or the thing to do to live. In other words, ricebowl for the vendors. History for sure tells us that there is a lot of immigrants from China, India and Arab. Whole lot of them were workers either forced by the colonizing army or just migrators. My grandfather (father's side) was one of them. So, that explains why are there so many Chinese vendors there in Penang. On why are they mostly revolved around food, it boils back to Penangites being food-lovers.hah. Food is generally the fuel to sustenance. To fill the stomach to survive.

Workers need food to continue working. Families need food to feed their children. The king needs food. We all need food. Again, why does it look like it's so abundant in Penang. Let's not over-analyze. Analysis and socio-economy reports have them. We're here to express and share. The fun part is that we Penangites are very proud of it for having such tasty gastronomy and it is officially regarded as a food paradise.

Typical of a hawker centre.

Many of the vendors were being interviewed over the recent years. They all shared one thing in common. They mention passion. But is that passion conceived (through interest) or through the need to survive back in the older days. Both ways, it can still be passion. Passion to serve is another way. I believe most of them serve as out of passion today. Most of them already have families. You and I and the rest are related to them here and there. Their immediate children may be already doing well in their careers. Some open a fixed shop as part of their family business expansion plan. This is one of the kinds of growth you see in Penang. Food and retail businesses.

Some could be still struggling to make ends meet. Putting bread on the plates of their families. Blood, sweat and tears still spill - the test of time do not compromise on this. No free lunch, so they say. Through my eyes I can only tell that they are working hard whether it is to serve society or as a hobby/passion (to cook and serve food) or altogether. The need to survive lies in the heart and soul of the people doing it.

Today, the boy who is a grown young man already. He walks to the stall and make his order, this time by himself with his family seated. This pan-fried pancake seller is still the same man who served in this hawker centre since a decade ago. Only shorter in height due to a slight hunch, with greyer hair and very seasoned/ worked skin. The same simple clothing and towels around. The pancake may not taste the same physically but it will still bear the same values of humility as of a cook's love in his cooking. And maybe the need to survive.

It still make children smile and grown adults cheer while they have the food. The child is me.

"uncle, tua eh chi pua." 
"J: uncle, big one, one plate."
"chiak eh ah? ho ah." 
"Uncle: eat here? ok."
"ah. chei lai bin"
 "J: yes, sitting inside"
"ho, ho." 
"Uncle: ok ok."

"lai siao lien eh, si kor."
 "Uncle: come young one, four ringgit."
"( kheh liao..) ah." 
"J: (wah, price increase" yes."
"ok ya, chau lu chi kor."
 "Uncle: ok, change you one ringgit."

I can remember two places which sell this pan-fried pancake. A place which is no more was along Beach Street. Another which still exist is in Pulau Tikus. Check link for pictures. Keys: pancake, chinese, banana. Ah memories. My parents used to bring me to eat it or buy back home.

[Direct romanization/"pinyin" of Hokkien words are not accurate and may be incorrect. me not a complete penang hokkien speaker. buat malu jaa..a]
[Account of storytelling is not exact. Drama is added for twist.]
[Picture googled]

Sunday, 10 November 2013

108. Of What They See Matters?


cos Nothing Else Matters hah

Really? I guess and I judge so. Now let's keep my judgement "off" this issue.

We are what people see.

What matters is that it's up to you, it's your call, your actions and your own feelings (your heart and wish), so they say. All within yourself. And that's the problem. It only takes place in yourself.

Then comes the action of expression. Comes in two methods; just doing it (nothing else matters) and the other, do it to show, meaning to share and disseminate courses of actions - pretty just share it over a journal or any other social media. 

Get what I am trying to differentiate and point out about? About how your actions are not objectively regarded as actions if they are not seen. The prime matter this post is about being seen. So if you had done something but nobody saw it. nobody actually cares. Your loved ones care, hopefully. If only you let them know. They would listen. If not, same thing. But in faith, they wished so.

Actions and thoughts. This is very general and wide I will not write deeply in any of its aspects or branches. But I will include examples. 

Put in a unique and simpler breakdown of words, what people see are matters (more) than your actions or rational. Yeah, something like they always say, actions speak louder than words. Alter it to, "seen actions are definitely truer than just actions."

Now you see where unsung heroes come into play. Until they are being discussed or found out. Because nobody saw them when they do the heroic acts. 

Another point of view with the same concept would be like, people tend to only catch and notice your wrongdoings and what happened to your work of charity, hard work; contribution which leads to some success. People judge at first sighting and even from the very first encounter. First sight of whatever you're doing. That leads to impression. Without knowing the real reason or rational behind the words, actions or thoughts expressed. So there would be no chance of "forgiveness" if  "good" sight does not appear with you again with that person looking.  You will be praised and congratulated upon showing up again with "good" things happening around.


The winner would be the one who can express much well (this excludes up to major whining and excessive lamentations). It's obvious the quiet and timid will fall short of survival in this need-to-be expressive culture and commonality. The modern, smart and intelligent (oh yeah unique smart) or the ones with common senses (must be in line with the current generation or ahead) say, "You gotta be one step ahead. You're going to lose out if you don't step up your level of thinking and... actions." Correct but not all of us intend to do things to be ahead of time and development. Mere workers and lives with souls just want to live. Just living it out. In our own ways. We don't want to be much involved in the rushing scene of competition and race to riches. So we pretty much do not show. Then shine through. 

But we do care about the blood, sweat and tears we dripped so badly. We want to be recognized not competitively but just to be appreciated. Basic feeling. A basic drive in this living. A minimal way to show. But too small the fries to be SEEN.

In reality, this fast moving world does not cater and provide for the living of the average jacks. They want results. They want to SEE results. They do not care how you do it. How you work way up. Being wise and cautious sometimes just does not fit you in the bullet train. Because it's moving so fast the other people want you to get in faster. They want to SEE you get in quick. You might be quick they want it quicker.

Here are some examples in view (at opportune times and of different settings with characters illustrated in a manner not generalising all people) :
1. Too bad. I saw you sitting doing nothing this morning. "But I have completed the orders last night (I didn't get enough sleep). I have done my part. You don't see?" - in your mind. Bad worker you are. 

2. "I love you! Take a look, surprise (gift)!" Yay love you too! Some time later - I am not sure if you really meant it when you said that. (It's just a gift) Thanks though. "But but..I worked day and night everyday to get this for you, I want you to be happy. Not being materialistic but it's a gift I meant to give and express love. I worked towards it." - in your mind and backdrop. Bad lover you are.

These two examples have no relation with whatsoever experience I have gone through but for at least what I've seen. It also applies here - I would only be able to write and talk about things which I have seen for myself. Never seen never knew never felt. Unless it's a feeling you want to pen out first and then make it seen.


So, what people see also have impact in what they say or do. And think. Judgements, thoughts, selections, respect, appreciation and the list goes on they are all based on what people see in an obvious light. Because people could not care for what they do not see. Because they do not know and they would not even know that they do not know. Making things worse are people are ignorant for they are already oblivious. It does not stop right at ignorance it's the choice to believe in only what they see, saw and seen. Forgive those tend to make decisions fast based on what they see minimally due to their lack of knowledge and exposure in the particular field. But to forgive those ignorant and stubborn? Maybe not stubborn, something (let's not use the word "worse" because it is judgmental) more in a state of unwillingness to see/hear what they do not believe.

In short, there are people (whom in my eyes do so) who refuse to accept opinions. Not changes. Changes take place with time. It does take time for somebody to accept new systems and development. But in this case opinions in form of varying actions and thoughts. 

So they can't see, they don't matter. 

~ You are kind and caring. You take care of your friends and families. But to some friends and some people, you look like you don't care. Because either you don't often show your care, or your words don't show or they just never had never seen you care for them. "You are not kind and caring." The first statement is about you. The latter statement is the "truth" in the minds of many. 

~ You are hardworking and wise with your decision making to make things work. You work hard to make ends meet. Be it at work, at home or with relationships. But to many, you look like you are not so bothered and actually not care about anything. Like bad apple, you just sit and watch the world burn. Because you remain calm and cool in tight situations. Because you are heavily thinking and trying to work out some proper plans and actions to be executed. Because you kinda look bad-ass. "You are not hardworking and you don't care." It is stated about your true nature. But what people see is you being nonchalant, shoddy and tardy. Then it makes you feel like you rather just be like bad apple - being treated the same way if you ever tried to work harder.


They say to just be yourself. There's numerous ways to look at this. I list two. One is let loose; be natural and do or say whatever you intend to - which leads to personal satisfaction and not holding back. Second, admit it that there is nothing real or true in nature and practical with being oneself in this reality. The world will be a very harmonious place to live in if everybody is true to themselves and others. This reality does not look like it haha. In this competitive line of living people are to project themselves in a way that they impress people. Impression and expression. Then action. Of course results ultimately. So these values are all used as means to achieve up to the benefit. Unfortunately, these values portrayed are most probably untrue of the person. But true and definitely effective. Because not everyone will like you being yourself. Let's say you're annoying, perverted, noisy, too quiet or fat; yeah includes inferior values. 
True values are only required to be shown only at home with your loved ones. So they can nourish you with motivational words when the outside world just won't accept you. Unless it's pure charity. People are still people. Do first regret later. Just a little short side note; especially in relationships - people chase for ideal styles and possibly untrue values but seem so great to not to take the "offer". And then people show true values when they are home - see? Oh no I hatechiuuuu.


I'd believe the social media has played a very large part in this matter of being seen and being recognized. You will be liked, praised and hailed as "godly" good or cool if you know the ways and the so-called tricks (formally known as intelligent marketing and promoting). But you will never be known if they don't see evidence. I don't know... I guess social networking has become more of like a popularity contest indirectly and unknowingly. Settings for yourself are good for filtering your feed. Whereas the general setup is implemented more to cater for the rich and famous. Rich in love, love for ..anything; wealth, wealth of knowledge, experience, tricks (aha), credit; oh yeah fans. 

The seemingly corrupted, fast-moving and greedy world has churned out a result of people becoming more time-consumed, even self-consumed and materialistic. "Materialize" - coming into form which you can see. The little things that may matter more like care, kindness, humility, generosity, health and etc. are not really in the list of to-dos. If they are, they are of low priority or pressed too deep into storage. Yep, that's the point. So consumed with what you want to see. In the end when you don't see yourself up there you jump down.

That will be a whole new lot of issues to be written upon which I am not in the course of performing it.

People = you + me + them. This is also based on what I have seen. I tried to set up an outlook so that I could write from that point of view.

Basically it happens with anyone including you and me. Perception. 

My personal advice and serving as a reminder for myself too is that we can always keep our beliefs strong. We can also open up to opinions. Keep composed and accept that there are definitely different points of views. Not to disregard and disrespect. Because what you believe in is based on what you saw. What you are about to listen or see is of a different belief.

This advice is meant to keep ourselves strong and faithful in ourselves wisely. Because I have come across situations in which people just lose hope. Because people do not believe in them. Because people do not see what they want to see in them. Keep steady rather than regressing into self-inflicted disillusionment and being unrealistic.

Wednesday, 20 March 2013

107. Walk This Road and That, Oh The Other..

Treat this as like reading 3-4 posts at a time. Like forcing large siewmai and wantan into your mouth at once.

What's up, world? Can't say folks. Much folks folkin' in the work environment which keeps me matured. Can't say old. They were once young hearts whippin' and trippin' down the ages of gold. So no we don't get boring wise men tales. Instead, we get high energy seasoned wise men joyful experiences in form of reminiscence. In years to come we would be doing that, to your kids to your papa and mama. Or right, just your friends or colleagues from all ages. What about it? Whole lotta life experiences.
Pata, Toshi, Yoshiki and Heath of X-Japan

That's the road I am treading on. Just like how my father and I would do (I learn from him) during walks in the gardens or Sunday exercises. He would pick up large twigs, medium-sized branches or dangerous stones and rocks off the common paths of walk. He didn't build a house of rock en' roll. He made the paths safe for himself and others to walk on. So you and your grandmother won't trip on them.

Why did I follow in that? So you and your grandmother won't trip on them while walking that path. Or the little kids that would be trippin' to tell their grandchildren in 6 decades time that they be trippin' on rocks and rolled down the hills because the path was rocky. So is his life.

Simple habit but makes the difference.

Back on this road. That is an exact analogy literally which I am referring to as what I do if this living. I haven't lived to tell all my stories but along the way, like this pit stop; that I pick up experiences from others and myself to live this living. It's my style of balance. Some would do it all by themselves, kudos. Some dependent all the way, not bad.

Scroll down and you see some gloomy posts which summed up a pretty ugly experience. Scroll more or travel along the past years you see colourful forgings of life. My genes.

Let me give you an insight which I am thinking of right now...let's just put it like this, if you're reading my blog and somehow gets to read more in the near future maybe in some regular fashion; that means I am still sane. Sane as to having a regular good feelin' living. Two other extremes mean either I'm over-enjoying life I delete this blog, the other means I am as dead as close to dead mentally or physically. Has happened hahaha.

Great update here. I am no longer employed in Air Asia already yer know? Yes you know. If you don't know you don't give a fudge I don't give a fudge either haha. My tenure as a junior technician there lasted 1 year and 14 days. Unemployed for 3 days. Even moved to a new place already. Tadaa..started anew at somewhere which is not even one year old at that time. But was actually developed from a section of AIROD under NADI. And NADI owns a part of Malindo Air. oops free advertisement. Fresh.

There I am employed as a Technician distinguished from junior techs. So this road I walk leads me to a career which I have conceived as a life filler.'s not to fill my life. It's a found passion. Still inspired by flying which I have put aside. Future hasn't said no to flying. Good luck to me in this new company. I will grow with it.

I am going reverse chronological a little. Am I? Yes I am with a vortex. So yeah. On Facebook I have posted a photo album of fun and fun-filled experiences which basically summarizes what I have done in the recovery period of a no-no situation and it's a 21-years-old boy wake-up call. I wasn't on the line for storytelling so let pictures give some hints, they will do.  

September 28-29 - Happy Birthday KY - haha he wasn't around and it wasn't a celebration for him - Langkawi (with Jonathan, Ah Hooi and EMC and and Mr. Shaun) . It was a one day getaway to the island and its beautiful beach. Far away from anything cruel and 'life' threatening.

The Eagle

October 5-6 - Danok, Thailand (with Shahrul, Aidil and Hafis - My AirAsia colleague friends) . It was a staff discounted flight ticket to Alor Setar and then hopping onto Aidil's car (it's his hometown) to head to the border town of Sadao. Sawadeeee--kapp.


November 6-9 - Ho Chi Minh City (Saigon), Vietnam (with Leon Lui and Chia) . An employee coupon-based ticket which is free of charge (but still pays airport taxes) out of Malaysia! It's been 14 years since traveling out of country, which was Japan and Hong Kong. I know we can discuss and talk about travels to no end. So I have to keep it simple. It's Vietnam, one of the Indochinese countries filled with culture and lifestyles that are very much different from the usual.. The city is of course the same but the people are different. Ok..what? Let's just motives are the same but the way of living is different. Beautiful place. Beautiful ladies. hmm..ahem.

Vietnamese coffee, honey, ginger, bee pollen, shell lacquerware, coconut candy and handcrafts

November 18 - Allianz Penang Bridge International Marathon 2012 (with Ah Hooi, Kent, Kacee, Flora, Alan, Wei Wen and the rest of the world) . It's a freak show. It's a leap of faith. It's a non-sensible thing. We asked ourselves before the run, "did we really sign up for this? gosh it's..." full marathon (42.195 km).


December 2-3 - Ulu Yam Forest Recreational Family Day (with Air Asia colleagues and some of their family members) . It's located at along the way to Genting Highlands. Natural and beautiful. Unperturbed of the busy cities. It's just fun and serenity. Spending great time which made me (more) into missing my workmates. But play is play. Our activities were paintball, BBQ, river swim, water rafting, Flying fox and people-friendship bonding. A midnight activity out of the place too; hot spring bath.woo yeah. And Batu Caves. Thanks to Timothy and Shan for bringing me there. My first time and such a great opportunity to tour with them.

The BBQ hosted by the families of Azrul and Syed Salim

December 14 - Signs out of the office - "Now Everyone Can Fly"
December 17 - Signs in to the new office HUAT AHHH hahahah

And goodbye.

Seems like a time warp and distortion between fantasy and reality. Smile if you agree. Continue breathing if you're bothered. Several months have passed. It's freaking the third month of the year already. I'd say good things have happened. Joy to the world. Joy to myself and people around.

But there's one occurrence I would like to share cryptically. Because it has some meanings. Some meanings which breathed more life into my living. There's this girl I met a few months ago. A friend of friends. Make friends this way is cool actually. You get a hawk's eye view lol.haha.nonsense. And we started talking a lot one time right in between my transition period of switching companies. I reckon we have gotten quite close from time to time. Of many sharing and company. No guessing please. It's not even cryptic it's vague hah.

There's this sort of magic that exist in life that you don't even expect it coming or even possible. Which brings souls coming together or apart. And there's this opportunity to meet her somewhere at the crossroads connecting everywhere to everywhere. I make plans which only work when they fall together. Just like the maps I draw before I set on any journey to new places. So I did it, I met her there. It's a once in a while thing that one would do with no regrets and if it brings joy and smiles, why not. So back to Earth. Life goes on. When she reads and understands this she would laugh heh. This goes for her. She's a girl with a heart the size at least of Earth. She's a great young woman. She's a flower.

After all, it's just an ordinary world, I would follow up on it and see where the river flows where the wind blows where the sun shines at where I would be brought to.

Much more joy for two of my colleagues. Newly weds they are ^^ .

Firdaus and Nurul. Didn't have a good picture of them but it's on I show you door gifts haha.


Haris and Nur Afiqah. Can see..nah not going to show them close-up.

Cutting the cake apart but tying the knot : )

That's all folks, of the world, young and old, happy or grumpy. I just made you readers sleepy. Now where the Brainscrew and Ideals themed blog posts have gone? Just so personal of late haha. Of late, I guess I have combined a little of Ideals into Personal it churns out something of something which is using me myself as the subject. Not quite of brainscrew at the moment. Catch up again we will. Tata.

Look...they were this. Rock gila. Salute to Hide (long gone but not forgotten). 

[Pictures of X-Japan are googled]

Tuesday, 16 October 2012

106. Do Daydreams Come True?


Well, click, load it, sit back and relax. Why not listen to something rather than read haha. At least before reading.


Glimpses of your life flash before your eyes. Or flashes of memory striking you through your dreams in your sleep. Maybe it's called a day dream.

Woke up early in the evening today at about 3pm. Nobody's at home. Brother and father to work. Mum went out to get her vegetarian needs. Stretch. Picked up the piece of fried egg on the dining table, heated it up and.. Munch. Swallowed and then prepared to cook tomyam instant noodle in soup.

I'd never leave anywhere sound like it's so quiet. Or staying somewhere doing something in quietness.

It's Beyond in the CD player. Out loud. While I have my 'breakfast'. 

I know some of the cantonese lyrics as they are still chinese but still not at its whole. So well, the meanings. Nostalgic, sentimental and with life adventures. Anyway, it's cool and somehow just feeling timeless when you listen to songs written and performed by someone already long gone on earth. Let me name a few who came into my mind as they were very far away when they left. Ka Kui (Beyond), Layne (Alice in Chains), Kurt Cobain (Nirvana), Hide (X-Japan), Lennon (Beatles) and of course Hendrix himself. ok wtf there's a lot actually. 

Because time stopped for them their voices become timeless.

Lots of soul searching went through my mind as I listened to music, had my noodle and read the newspaper. Senses somehow separated themselves cleverly. That's not my point but.. a lot have happened lately. Wonder why I keep saying them but readers would not know what on earth happened exactly for me? I gave you jottings of notes of them in previous posts haha. That's also not important in this post. I rather keep them vague and sublime. Yes they happened. And past. And over. So it is today which I come back here to reflect "silently" by being urm "lyrical." There it was I wrote about what to expect under the video at the top of this post.

Sometimes we wish we could turn back time. It never happens. Sometimes we wish we could start all over anew. Sometimes maybe. Sometimes we wished that we have never started it at all. Not all. I don't. I am always a believer of what's done is done. I will live with it. I will be fine. That's the path carved and it will stay. Plus side, there are sweet memories everywhere. Etched. Not scarred.

Life visuals came down cast upon my mind today. Occurred several times through out the day. Even a small nap before I started typing on this. 

Just thought that why don't we leave the bad experiences behind tell them be good and keep quiet. They could be rejections, accidents, failures or just some certain bad hair days. Never tried never knew. So now we know. That's the bright side. 

Forget what they've wronged us. Forget what we've broken. Forget the reasons they happen. But keep in heart that one very reason in the first place they can actually happen. Because we chose and decided to start them anyway. No regrets.

Forgiveness is not necessary. It does not matter because we have stepped up higher. Cruel world but we still have to move on.

There's this quote on my aunt's t-shirt, " Never look down on people unless you're helping them up."


On my separation of me and "in a relationship with.." I could say a thousand words. I could sing many songs just to reflect on it. I think they don't matter. The songs only serve for that very moment you sing it. Come listen to good music. This one serves only for the moment. John Petrucci - Lost Without You .lol. There are some songs which are not for the moment but rather general or for the revival period. haha
When the sun rises again. Even the steps are ready.

So rather than singing them out. I chose to walk on. Move on. Like it never happened? A little. Like a loop travel. It's in my head. But rather than keep wondering why are they flashing in your mind and burning in the heart, I look forward and do what I am supposed to do. Live this living like a strong good man.

That's the best I could deliver for myself, and the world later on.

Happy Birthday ;)