31. Quantum of Solace: The Funeral of Hearts

Stress-talk

Currently enjoying the loudness of Avenged Sevenfold and downloading the latest Dragonforce XD

Enlightenment for a brighter path, dissertation of processes and inquisition into the sub-element of life...

The fork and spoon of life..(in some cases, chopsticks and knives). What are their equivalents in life? They poke, cut, pierce, dig, split, scoop, etc and finally dismember any particular object. In life, I think it's either the heart or the brain or might be the dick. I'm still looking into it whether our heart guides the hand or the body does the sometimes evil bidding of the brain. Emotion vs Brainpower. That doesn't matter so much now.

The play of feelings. The game of hearts. The link of emotions. The immeasurable degree of temptation. Love. For my level(personal), it's given the simple term "feeling". Not hunch. "Human-to-human Attraction Hormone".

So, what's up people. What is going on in this world. Or rather this life that breaks more than it may mend yet it is so fore-warned that it shall be handled with care. We just let it flow naturally. But we do know how to control it. And why we humans, are still so naive and stubborn only to let our hearts be broken.

(this is freaking me out, I am not so sure what I wrote actually make any sense yet..I actually forgot what I've drafted in mind to write here)

I had conversations with a few persons today including my mum this very first day after returning from jungle 400+km away. And they all involve love.

No, I'm not in trouble. But the surrounding is in trouble. It might not be as bad as I think. But to me, it hurts to think about it. When especially friendships are at stake of "feelings"-relationships. The single very powerful element in life. But it's two-faced. If you learn Moral on Moral Values and Ethics, there's two kinds of value: an instrumental and another is intrinsic. The instrumental, as it's related to materials defines the values as to nurture something so as to materialise something else with no real true perceived good intention, usually bad as being materialistic to the extent of being self-centred. Intrinsic on the other hand defines the values as natural and good in intention straightforwardly. In this case of love, the facade usually looks real good. Very normal, every normal typical human with no strong abstaining foundation could fall for it.

As mentioned, it could destroy. It brings chaos and disorganization. And I learn this from the people, some say, "it's best to remain as friends, otherwise intimacy could break us apart even from being just friends". But of course, some smarter hearts or people who truly understand the meaning of love and care without the lure of intimacy managed to get through life happily and ever after. It varies among many different types of people. But the concept is there I think, you either accidentally blow it or keep the flame burning with true mutual respect.

It's agonizing. Not as directly a lover or victim. Indirectly.. I gain my kind of experience and knowledge from friends and acquaintances. The suffering. The pain. Of each person come and go and hurting one another. I don't know. It's worse when you're dealing with a higher degree of maturity and there is more serious life-threatening emotions being involved. Meaning more harm generated if a breakage were to happen.

During the younger teenage years, love may just be infatuations, puppy-loves(my term is "puppet-love") and plain love-at-first-sights...that which when a failure occurs, it only injures at most the level of having false expectations or failed anticipations. In my opinion, it's immature and serious immaturity does lead to premature life delusion(or sometimes deaths). But at higher level, usually either at the start of adulthood or later on, a great deal of series of mental fluctuations takes place. Because at higher level of maturity, more values are being taken into seriously and expected/requested such as care, comfort, attention, material and etc., basically of a good life). When they are not met, mutual understanding starts to fail. If not handled appropriately or when one individual loses out to another competitor then the fallen may suffer and break.

The point here is not directing the blame to any side or particular figure. It's kind of like a key and lock. The whole point actually involves the "key into the lock" basic, which is the source and embryo to physical/sexual attraction a.k.a temptation. I have told this more than once in the same day (weird enough) on the basic derivation that I've attained from various sources that, men want women (women also want men) and usually women are caught in between (I'm not sure about the worldwide sex population). So women are like switches or diodes in electrical circuits which are men. Take for example, if there's a problem with the switch or the diode in a circuit, definitely electrical current will suffer some resistance or breakage. It's not to put the women at fault. I am merely showing the link of "I-need-you and you-need-me".

Sometimes it looks as though there's a succubus ruining lives but seriously it couldn't be helped. Humans, in my opinion make up a part of the animal kingdom on Mother Earth. So it's only natural, instinctive or intuition that we men and women succumb easily to temptations. Another way positively is, also natural, the mating need which prompted humans to hunt relentlessly and compete against each other.

My mum added, men do not think with their head. They think with their dicks. How true in certain cases. Though you(or we) may not feel it or not admit it but I think that is only normal.

It makes up the whole balance system in life. The ups and downs equal constant, that means there can not be ups only all the time and vice-versa. Some people living happily together, some enjoy playing with hearts while some do the "enjoy the silence" loneliness.

Basically, I see the play of love is doing more harm to people now. This seriously has an impact at an early stage of believing love is pure and free(flowing). But for me, it's still a long way to go from here and hopefully I don't get involved(in any treacherous relationship)(speaking from Jared's point).

After all, it's a wicked game we play. In life.

[No brains were screwed writing this screwy post, only plain mental torture inside out and plain sleepiness]

Friends and foes, buckle up. Life is fun but it is no joke.

[Thanks to the people who had inspiring talks on these with me. Quantum of Solace is of the upcoming 007 Bond movie title. Funeral of Hearts is of a song thievery from HIM. Inspiring phrases or words from Marilyn Manson - Heart-shaped Glasses(When The Heart Guides The Hand), Depeche Mode - Enjoy The Silence, Gorillaz - Feel Good Inc. and Chris Isaak - Wicked Game. Not forgetting the Bernoulli's Theory.]

If you don't understand this post, forget about it I will try write something comprehensible. It's been a trouble for me to story-tell and explain things properly to people...urgh..twisted tongue

24. The Dawn to the Darkness

Stress-Talk

Let me try create something out of nothing. Fill nothingness with blankness.

hmm...brainstorm. headbang. fresh air.. music....free time
Ok, this will be a short one if I couldn't.

I talked to Jonathan about the zero state or zero level neutral condition. Which God knows what's this is about.

Let's say. If everyone becomes good people and there's zero vices. Sinless. So the world turns good. So good becomes the normal level. The neutral. Like nothing. Let's mark it as zero. So like I mentioned before on the relation with Integers in Mathematics. Zero is now the goodness. I stated that it will go up or go down from there. I just don't know why, I didn't think well enough(as usual) perhaps. When Jonathan says, ok let the world continue to go up in positive numbers. It struck me in the pancreas. He means letting the world do better and better and be greater at being good. At that point, I just suddenly stopped dead at my thought to stand for my principles. Hmm..I think and think and I agreed that time. But I kinda deny that the increase that is higher than the zero level leads to something else. It might not be good-er. So what? There's a miscalculation and lost of thought in this matter. I gotta sit back and relax, unwind recollect my thoughts and analyse. Hmm...haven't done laundry in 3 days.

Ok, back to quotes and prophecies... I watched Batman(on the premier day). Commercial title is Dark Knight. Snippets of spoilers here.

Let me talk a bit about my surroundings first. hehe, my first time in fact having movie-goers beside me getting so moved and emotional besides laughter. There's these people around me who kept uttering, "shit!", "oh no!", "shit" and more "shitt". It's normal actually, I have seen my aunts all scream and begging for God's mercy for the hero in the movies, and a senior schoolmate communicating with the characters in the movie like, "watch out! At the back of you!" "NO! TURN RIGHT!" "ah ur leg!" "hit him harder!" "GOSH! YOU'RE SO DUMB". Back to the Batman. Because there's scenes which really threaten audiences to curl, pray for forgiveness and ponder whether the killing or hurting will take place. In the end,[spoiler] most of the hurtings happen for real. So to me, this movie is violent but erm..but not gory. Just a little sadistic and satirical. Ah, just how great the acting of Heath Ledger(R.I.P.) for the character The Joker. Pure awesomeness. And Christian Bale trying to sound like Corey Taylor in Batman suit. Lots of surprises in this movie. Just pure greatness. Being a realistic humanoid superhero movie, this is a great action-movie for me. The other would be Indiana Jones in this year. Other super great special effect action-movies for me are still Transformers and the new ones are Ironman and The Incredible Hulk. HULK SMASHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
So in the movie, there's this quote: You either die a hero or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain. What's the point there? The magnifent two-face ever changing world. The perception of people. The thoughts alike. Sometimes you do good but you are blessed wrongly, short-termed. But some bad guys really live forever with good blessings. Let's not talk about afterdeath or life. What The Joker does is really similarly of Goth, if according to YW's post. Non-mainstream conformist way. The unidealistic. Do what's right and fun for himself. But of course, Stressm objects to his deeds in instigating and killings. But by watching the movie, I developed a sense of empathy for him. I also feel what he is doing serves mankind right. Sometimes there are just these kind of mavericks who try to show the world a different path but too bad, the mainstream view the move as "illegal".

Same to my brother's conformity with Karl Marx's Communism ideology. Is it an ideology? Same thing again, it depends on how you accept them. I do not really believe there's right or wrong but it's subtle. Absurd at times. Or sometimes people just use the wrong method with the wrong tools. But that's also the maverick's way. You use fund-raising activity to help create awareness towards some peace work. The maverick might use fireworks and display of bloodshed to cease war and promote peace.

Greed sometimes or at all times plays a part. For an example, you would want some part of the profit or credit gained. haha but Batman doesn't, really. He endures it. And that is why he is the Dark Knight.[watch the movie then you will know wth i just mentioned]

"WHY SO SERIOUSSS?!" ~The Joker

Ok, new thought. (not bad..maybe it's music that keep my brain generating new ideas..just listened to Avenged Sevenfold's Seize The Day guitar solo).

This way. Take Batman. He fights crimes. He tries hard to reach the zero level. So let's say zero level is attained. Which means he is no longer needed? Or he is the new deal to the cops? The movie targets him as a law breaker..some kind of Hancock? By the way, Hancock movie is really inspirational. Batman, gona be the new villain? That's the point in that zero level theory. When the "bad" extincts, the "good" becomes the bad in order to restore to good. Any idea what this explains? I feel this agrees to the principle that higher or lower fluctuation from the zero level leads to something else. And it comes back to the cycle principle. Take this, when you are bad, you will want to be good. When you are good, you do something bad and you become bad.

Theoretical.

SUbjective. Big Banging.

My belief: Take this life as neutral. Then you screw, you do real bad stuffs like killing and raping. Next life, you suffer and suffer bad fate as a vengeance to your past life and then you repent. In the following life, you lead a poor life like a new beginning. Next life your life turns back to neutral. So the cycle of life goes on. However this is not in line with or being taught by Buddhism and in Karma, though it's similar in the sense of cycle.

It takes free time and twisted neurones to come up with these ideas to write.

Sucked. Absorbed. The by-products are to be expelled soon. 2 hours of blogging two posts..and Jonathan has continued his nap. But I didn't post this instantly.

Cheers. This might be one of the very few last large hours of free time I am going to have... Savour!

Back to jungle life.

"Take me home to the paradise city where the grass is green and the girls are pretty" ~Paradise City, Guns N' Roses

21. The Rape of Misconception

Stress-Talk

Quantum Physics

There is an update. Eric has completed his VERY COOL & LONG POST reminiscing on our good ol' mfking twisted spleen stress anorexic ass splitting Editorial Board days. The way there. And so I include that link in my recent post which has a part on it too. Cheers to the bloodiest board members ever.

[STRESS has finally made its comeback in posting something stressful but with a twist in its way of expressing. Perhaps the Friendster Stressm blog would not be continued but I think I might just use that place to relate lyrics with my views and meanings. So, as to celebrate it... The Pangea post was already a major move.(actually there were already posts with thoughts from Stresser just that I don't reveal the identity earlier. They are 1. New Blood Joins, 2. Patience, 7. Tribute to My Brain and 12. A Trip to Hell & Void]

Imagine a world with no borders.

Try not imagine.

Feel. Escape from the lies that encapsulate us. Break free from the vortex which separates our perception from the truth concealed.

"you reap what you sow"

One says it's the rule of the karma - what goes around comes around.

Hooi, remember like the games I create for you in the emails "to punish you".

I found this website somewhere someone refer the readers to to get an understanding through the lines and depictions from the life. Find some free time to read it. Nice read, really.

www.british-israel.ca/you_reap_what_you_sow.htm
This is in no way of emphasizing or embracing any religion referred or mentioned.

There are still so many examples and true or real-life depictions in explaining and bringing us closer to the saying. So don't kinda blame God or ask why bad luck happens to you. Try asking, why do the others deserve bad lucks and accidents more and not you, when you feel life is unfair. A simple answer is "God loves you more". heh

And coincidentally, there goes the saying in the movie Kung Fu Panda by Master Oogway, "There are NO accidents". Plainly, it coincides with my belief in fate and prophecies. Yeah, of course not literal and direct with the meaning from the dictionary of "accident". It just means that you really can't get oranges by accident if you planted peaches in the first place. This movie has exactly the principle to explain it.

The other way to think of it would be, to believe. Stop messing around the world and your head saying, "it can't be, it can't be... this must be a mistake". Rather, move on with it and unravel the true truth which you long to know, dying to understand it and living to research it.

The movie series of Saw has what it takes to show you the fruit of the saying. I have a twist on it, "you rip what you saw" literally, saw in the context of using the tool to cut. haha. You see, the victims in the movie were actually people who had done bad things. And the traps John Kramer set are sets that test the victims themselves on how would they feel if they were in the position of their victims in the past when they commit bad deeds unto them (anyone has a better phrasing of this sentence??) and why their victims deserved their tragedies. Actually, same goes to the "teacher"-cum-"trap-setter" John. He's punishing the people. What does it takes to be the punisher? A messiah in another way.

But you know, everyone knows superheroes couldn't possibly save everyone in the world. It's either someone saves people in New York, or Ultraman fighting monsters in Tokyo, Cicakman fighting crimes in Kuala Lumpur. Yeah, that's why there were so many superheroes, created and placed my their makers in their respective hometowns as guardians to the world.

Alright, this is the ultimate and primary destination of this post. The Matrix.

Watched it once 10 years back to enjoy it and watched it recently to understand. Superb. Very good spin-off of life. I don't quite understand it totally yet(I still have Reloaded and Revolutions to research) and I really, don't know how to relate and make explanation of it. I can't die dead enough to show you how interested I was in this prophecy-related philosophical life-blender-ing fruitcake.

Believe - This is mentioned after the citation on Kung Fu Panda. In relation to "believing", Stresser had this old post titled I Think I BELIEVE which include Joe Satriani's I Believe lyrics as reference.
(am i out of the topic?)

Yeah, everything here today, now, this very moment you are reading is related to the cases told in that link I gave. In The Matrix movie, it shows that what you believe is real and it is the truth unbeknownst to the your perception or the daily life(which is explained as "fake" and "forced-imaginary"). An example, you believe you will fall after the big leap, so you fall. You reap what you sow, in a different way and context. So you believe you can dodge the bullets and survive, you do. Neo(Keanu Reeves) done it with pride and machoness. Just, believe. People also always say "believe in yourself" so why not.

Similar kind of event takes place before one's last breath in its body in this world. You see there are so many dramas showing you people encourage dying people to stay strong and don't give up. Yeah, it really works. That's the conscience humans have. In our subconsciousness, we live and we are controlled mentally(psychologically). You believe you're going to die and end so you let go of your life. So you believe you are stronger than you think you were and opt to stay longer in this Earth, you do and you make the doctors' wallet bigger. This of course could not be applied(in our this reality) if the brain is already dead or the heart not functioning well anymore. common sense la..

More than true, the movie unveils the deception we faced within our world and the matrix. True, we're always deceived by our own perceptions. Daydreaming doesn't apply here, understood. We are merely controlled. In the brain. Thus, disillusions occur. Misunderstanding. False faith. Perversion of the mind. Misuse of the physical entity. Doomed by our visions. Because "you see what you do" and what we do is wrong so what we see is also wrong.

I had this description(not prescription for madness) for Stressm written and that's after I listened to some Buddhism talk by a speaker. It has these accounts on unrealistic desires and expectations. That's also the key to our unhappiness and ungratefulness. We tend to expect too much or assume that we can get the best or better but results don't turn out as what we've wanted and that causes unhappiness. Because we don't get what we want obviously. Reap what you sow, but let's not put the blame ungratefully to solely ourselves. We really can't tell and we're not The Oracle or Nostradamus to see the future. We really don't know well about our limits so, the oranges you plant might not grow as big as you've hoped for. But as explained, the key of "you reap what you sow" is there just that we're not omni-mind-present.

One sickening truth but it cannot be helped, humans like to be blinded. The natural blindness is already there and it leads to find better blindness. All in the Seven Deadly Sins.

So, that's it I have to say more or less in this special edition 21st post in this 21st century written in the 4am of pre-dawn of June 21st. But not posted immediately. Yeah but it is scheduled to be posted at 2100 hours of the day. What significance it has in the number 21? Dunno, just mere awesomeness.

There, another cut-out excerpt and picture I "accidentally" found in the websites...regarding Karma.
http://shyamasundaradasa.com/jyotish/what_is_jyotish/what_is_vedic_astrology/what_is_vedic_astrology_1.html

this is a bit disturbing- take a closer look they exchanged faces.

To clear up some facts. heh. I got interested to write on this just suddenly when my speaker blared "cos what you reap is what you sow!", while playing the last line from the song Wake Up by Rage Against The Machine. And you know what, this song is in The Matrix OST. The song was played during the start of the credit.

Here's the earlier mentioned extra "story-telling" which I want to include. This just has got all the examples and real-life accounts of the "reap what you sow" principle. Nicely written, with title that's totally connected too. I got this article from a forwarded email and I would like to share with you readers who are interested to spare some time looking and peering into our life for one short moment. You don't have to make any decision, just read and be amused.

Hopefully this can ignite the sunlight in some of your hearts. Some or one(particularly..) should take note and not go on acting and live a dumb life and be all f* up about others and especially your significant other, learn that you are the one misleading yourself and don't influence others to f* the way with you. Positively, I hope you close connected readers could learn one or two things and cheer up more in life.

Here it is after some minor digression.
The Law of the Seed
Take a look at an apple tree. There might be five hundred apples on the
tree, but each apple has just ten seeds. That's a lot of seeds!
We might ask, "Why would you need so many seeds to grow just a few more
apple trees?"
Nature has something to teach us here. It's telling us: "Not all seeds
grow. In life, most seeds never grow. So if you really want to make
something happen, you had better try more than once."

This might mean:
·You'll attend twenty interviews to get one job.
·You'll interview forty people to find one good employee.
·You'll talk to fifty people to sell one house, one car, one vacuum
cleaner, one insurance policy, or a business idea.
·And you might meet a hundred acquaintances just to find one special
friend.

When we understand the "Law of the Seed", we don't get so disappointed. We
stop feeling like victims. We learn how to deal with things that happen to
us. Laws of nature are not things to take personally. We just need to
understand them - and work with them.

IN A NUTSHELL
Successful people fail more often. But they plant more seeds.

When Things Are Beyond your control, here's something that you must NOT DO
so as to avoid misery in your life:
- You must not decide how you think the world SHOULD be.
- You must not make rules for how everyone SHOULD behave.
- Then, when the world doesn't obey your rules, you get angry!
- That's what miserable people do!

On the other hand, let's say you expect that:
- Friends SHOULD return favours.
- People SHOULD appreciate you.
- Planes SHOULD arrive on time.
- Everyone SHOULD be honest.
- Your husband or best friend SHOULD remember your birthday.

These expectations may sound reasonable. But often, these things won't
happen!
- So you end up frustrated and disappointed.
- There's a better strategy. Demand less, and instead, have preferences!
- For things that are beyond your control, tell yourself:
- "I would prefer "A", but if "B" happens, it's OK too!"

This is really a change in mindset. It is a shift in attitude, and it gives
you more peace of mind ...
You prefer that people are polite ... but when they are rude, it doesn't
ruin your day.
You prefer sunshine ... but if it rains, it is ok too!
To become happier, we either need to change the world or change our
thinking. It is easier to change our Thinking!

In summary
It is not the problem that is the issue,
but rather it is your attitude attending to the problem that is the
problem.

It's not what happens to you that determine your happiness.
It's how you think about what happens to you!

[song title thievery from Die Dead Enough by Megadeth and Fruitcake by Stone Sour]
[pictures are courtesy of the artists and authors involved. Not any of mine]