24. The Dawn to the Darkness

Stress-Talk

Let me try create something out of nothing. Fill nothingness with blankness.

hmm...brainstorm. headbang. fresh air.. music....free time
Ok, this will be a short one if I couldn't.

I talked to Jonathan about the zero state or zero level neutral condition. Which God knows what's this is about.

Let's say. If everyone becomes good people and there's zero vices. Sinless. So the world turns good. So good becomes the normal level. The neutral. Like nothing. Let's mark it as zero. So like I mentioned before on the relation with Integers in Mathematics. Zero is now the goodness. I stated that it will go up or go down from there. I just don't know why, I didn't think well enough(as usual) perhaps. When Jonathan says, ok let the world continue to go up in positive numbers. It struck me in the pancreas. He means letting the world do better and better and be greater at being good. At that point, I just suddenly stopped dead at my thought to stand for my principles. Hmm..I think and think and I agreed that time. But I kinda deny that the increase that is higher than the zero level leads to something else. It might not be good-er. So what? There's a miscalculation and lost of thought in this matter. I gotta sit back and relax, unwind recollect my thoughts and analyse. Hmm...haven't done laundry in 3 days.

Ok, back to quotes and prophecies... I watched Batman(on the premier day). Commercial title is Dark Knight. Snippets of spoilers here.

Let me talk a bit about my surroundings first. hehe, my first time in fact having movie-goers beside me getting so moved and emotional besides laughter. There's these people around me who kept uttering, "shit!", "oh no!", "shit" and more "shitt". It's normal actually, I have seen my aunts all scream and begging for God's mercy for the hero in the movies, and a senior schoolmate communicating with the characters in the movie like, "watch out! At the back of you!" "NO! TURN RIGHT!" "ah ur leg!" "hit him harder!" "GOSH! YOU'RE SO DUMB". Back to the Batman. Because there's scenes which really threaten audiences to curl, pray for forgiveness and ponder whether the killing or hurting will take place. In the end,[spoiler] most of the hurtings happen for real. So to me, this movie is violent but erm..but not gory. Just a little sadistic and satirical. Ah, just how great the acting of Heath Ledger(R.I.P.) for the character The Joker. Pure awesomeness. And Christian Bale trying to sound like Corey Taylor in Batman suit. Lots of surprises in this movie. Just pure greatness. Being a realistic humanoid superhero movie, this is a great action-movie for me. The other would be Indiana Jones in this year. Other super great special effect action-movies for me are still Transformers and the new ones are Ironman and The Incredible Hulk. HULK SMASHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
So in the movie, there's this quote: You either die a hero or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain. What's the point there? The magnifent two-face ever changing world. The perception of people. The thoughts alike. Sometimes you do good but you are blessed wrongly, short-termed. But some bad guys really live forever with good blessings. Let's not talk about afterdeath or life. What The Joker does is really similarly of Goth, if according to YW's post. Non-mainstream conformist way. The unidealistic. Do what's right and fun for himself. But of course, Stressm objects to his deeds in instigating and killings. But by watching the movie, I developed a sense of empathy for him. I also feel what he is doing serves mankind right. Sometimes there are just these kind of mavericks who try to show the world a different path but too bad, the mainstream view the move as "illegal".

Same to my brother's conformity with Karl Marx's Communism ideology. Is it an ideology? Same thing again, it depends on how you accept them. I do not really believe there's right or wrong but it's subtle. Absurd at times. Or sometimes people just use the wrong method with the wrong tools. But that's also the maverick's way. You use fund-raising activity to help create awareness towards some peace work. The maverick might use fireworks and display of bloodshed to cease war and promote peace.

Greed sometimes or at all times plays a part. For an example, you would want some part of the profit or credit gained. haha but Batman doesn't, really. He endures it. And that is why he is the Dark Knight.[watch the movie then you will know wth i just mentioned]

"WHY SO SERIOUSSS?!" ~The Joker

Ok, new thought. (not bad..maybe it's music that keep my brain generating new ideas..just listened to Avenged Sevenfold's Seize The Day guitar solo).

This way. Take Batman. He fights crimes. He tries hard to reach the zero level. So let's say zero level is attained. Which means he is no longer needed? Or he is the new deal to the cops? The movie targets him as a law breaker..some kind of Hancock? By the way, Hancock movie is really inspirational. Batman, gona be the new villain? That's the point in that zero level theory. When the "bad" extincts, the "good" becomes the bad in order to restore to good. Any idea what this explains? I feel this agrees to the principle that higher or lower fluctuation from the zero level leads to something else. And it comes back to the cycle principle. Take this, when you are bad, you will want to be good. When you are good, you do something bad and you become bad.

Theoretical.

SUbjective. Big Banging.

My belief: Take this life as neutral. Then you screw, you do real bad stuffs like killing and raping. Next life, you suffer and suffer bad fate as a vengeance to your past life and then you repent. In the following life, you lead a poor life like a new beginning. Next life your life turns back to neutral. So the cycle of life goes on. However this is not in line with or being taught by Buddhism and in Karma, though it's similar in the sense of cycle.

It takes free time and twisted neurones to come up with these ideas to write.

Sucked. Absorbed. The by-products are to be expelled soon. 2 hours of blogging two posts..and Jonathan has continued his nap. But I didn't post this instantly.

Cheers. This might be one of the very few last large hours of free time I am going to have... Savour!

Back to jungle life.

"Take me home to the paradise city where the grass is green and the girls are pretty" ~Paradise City, Guns N' Roses

23. I'm Not Home

Personal

I learn to...
{not in the mood to type..}
Why?
Not in the upbeat music rocking environment.
Is in the library, with plenty of people around.
No feeling of privacy. hah
I will complete this soon.
Cheers people.
By the way, I am not in KL la...I am in Dengkil! Or Sepang. haha
[1st Physics & Aerodynamics class assignment done in 30minutes...woohoo..]
- - - - - - -

Twist of fate. I earlier decided to stop dead this post while I was in the toilet. But I decided again to continue it after returning from toilet the following day. I wrote this in a very nice environment. Offline, I wrote this in a piece of text document before posting it. Nice environment=music+privacy. Even though there's a friend watching me now. And Jonathan taking a nap.

[A sound recording of our self-proclaimed motto/rally after a student made that funny MIAT rally]

So, 2 weeks(only?) have passed. The first 4 days of Orientation handled by the seniors were awful. I mean really, not the usual seniority ragging.. but the mental and physical torture that only make you feel like you have came to wrong place. It's not really the senior's fault. It's this one @#$%^&U* who took advantage of the blissful 2-4am time to punish us. Demoralizing. I'm not the only one who wish to express this. There's many others out there who loathed him too. Slept only more or less 5 hours in 3 days and nights.

However, the group fun activities and meal times were really fun. Especially sharing joyful moments with new friends from all over Malaysia with different slangs, accents, and styles. We learn a lot of fun stuffs like dances and claps...heard of Chicken Dance? Yeah, that's actually famous. We learnt to live in harmony. Actually only within the group heh.. It's more of a competition among groups in the games. Intimidating. More over, my group mates were consisted of the people staying in the same floor of our hostel. So it's kinda like really good relationship. Neighbourship. My chinese friends were all mostly from Borneo. waha... one from Labuan, one from Kuching, one from Sabah. Another who is a Siamese from Kedah. And the girls who enrolled are all, girls with tudungs... There's only one who is an international student from Pakistan who stood out from all of them and not wearing a tudung.

So, ..(i have been to Midvalley twice already since being here..woohoo good place to cleanse the mind and the eyes)(argh..i gotta learn to sustain eye contact longer and strike machoness...hmph),

So, basically coming from 300 plus kilometres away from home to study is a stage in life where I learn to be independent. Or at least, more independent. Bangun pagi gosok gigi salin pakaian eh mandi dulu...taklah begini, susah betul. Wake up, look at the clock, back to sleep, wake up OH HOLY MIAT it's 9.30am!!! That happened the previous Friday, the last day of the orientation for the school admin to give briefings on the studies we will have. Yeah shit happens for real. It's the 6th day staying in hostel. Jonathan and I overslept and didn't make it for the first two talks. Coincidentally, many others didn't turn up too so one of the admin guy gave a warning,those who didn't come later in the evening will face disclipine action. Of course we made it.

Our class leader is the smallest guy in size haha he is being made fun of by every lecturer who attended class this week. Lots of changes in the timetable..very bad. So the worst thing ever expected, my class got an off-day on Wednesday. Dumb.

6 subjects, want me to list them down? Ok I try.... Moral Studies(LAN), Technical Mathematics I, Aviation English Foundation, Physics & Aerodynamics, Material & Hardware and Electrical Fundamental I. Sounds fun? The final result is based on 10% of quiz, 10% of Midterm exam, 50% of assignments and practicals, and 30% from Finals exam. Also maximum of 10% absence without reason from the total study hours, which is rounded up to 3 days. Fun stuff heh. A lecturer said it's easier like this compared to 100% result from Finals in the past. The passing mark is 75% to be able to continue into the next semester studies. Maximum of 4 failures after that the whole semester will have to be repeated. Less than that, then a retake of the particular subject in the next semester. Means more shit time. This I think applies similarly to the other schools in our tertiary education system.

So basically study hard, work hard and concentrate hard...serious sick future, man.. this career in aviation is all about work. My physics teacher said, it's all about safety. A few doctors in an operation theatre can do a mistake and kill one life. But if an engineer wrongly certifies for a unsafe plane to fly, hundreds of lives perish. I'm not boasting off my career prospect la but just, I gotta work hard from now on. Be it pilot or what... These only matter to me in the future, DCA, LWTR, EASA, CAT A ~777, CAT B ~737, LAE/LAME, PPL, CPL, ATPL, 747, 777, 4 Bars, Medal of #$%^&*, A340...etc, CIMB, retire with KWSP then rest in peace with honour. Alhamdullilah and Insya-Allah everything goes on well with full HP bar. haha

[Photo Credit: Boeing - Boeing 777]

I will do the Great Gig In The Sky and For Those About To Rock (We Salute You) because You Can't Kill Rock & Roll.

Nasi goreng kampung..nasi goreng cina..nasi paprik...gulai ayam...nasi putih...teh ais...sirap...

[Midvalley's Food Junction's Bakmi Chicken Noodle - Sangat enak dan lazat]

I miss homecook food la. I've been porkless for 2 weeks. My friend said, "bo chiak bak wa ai ki siao liao...".

And it's a smoking community here...dunhill/salem/pall mall/mild seven/semporna.. 1 upon waking up. 1 before brushing teeth. 1 after bath. 1 before meal. 1 after meal. 1 on the way back to room. 2 in the room. 1 on the way to class. 1 after class. 1 in the room. 1 on the way to laundry. 1 after the laundry. 1 after bath. 1 while homeworking. 1 on the way to lunch. 1 after lunch. 1 after nap. 1 before class. 1 after class. 1 before dinner. 1 after dinner. 1 in the room. 1 while trying to sleep. So there's at least 24 ***batangs*** a day for the nicotine fix. hah

[Song title thievery from Pink Floyd - Great Gig In The Sky, AC/DC - For Those About To Rock (We Salute You) and Ozzy Osbourne - You Can't Kill Rock & Roll]

22. 3rd Big Bang: Farewell & Road to Nirvana

Personal

The Last Song.

Load it then reap it. A tribute to Hide and the Dir en Grey hardcore supporters.

"SPARK AND SPARK" ~Kyo

1st Big Bang: The one scientist gave a theory basis.
2nd Big Bang: The one I initiated to ignite the barrage of all mysterious, exciting and depressing events starting 2008 A.D.
The 3rd: An ending leading to a new beginning

So much for an ending here in my home sweet home. Though it's only a few months away from home with occasional breaks one could not help but to feel sad and missing many things. It starts with me. I am the one gona leave. Jon as quoted, "it's different between being left and to leave someone" almost made me shed my 'bros over hoes' tears. With the mention of "12 years of knowing each other". I tell you a year of deep understanding and having fun together could already do the magic of friendship. Therein, an attachment is born.

So guys, no matter how many years, 5 years or 3 f*ing preaching years or what. Friends who exist as friends who are branded friends with the objective of being friends are friends you have around now. Leave or being left, I try not meddle with that. But I would just like to express, the most heartfelt and warmest gratitude from my heart and brain and body to you people, friends.

Precious and quality time together, they matter the most. This is what differentiates the feeling and meaning of leaving from other events. When you are far away, you couldn't meet so easily and there is the string of friendship that stretches when contacts get further from each other. So you feel the tension, the extension. And relationships often fades people forget about each other when you do not tend to the string regular enough, the string loses its elasticity and drops loose on the ground like that therefore you don't even feel the missing or close contact you once had.

So much for another beginning. Yo, close friends, enough of "asshole-banging" these few recent days so don't bang extra into yourself lest you bite them off. I don't like seeing men weep you know, the sick korean dramas are portraying men as meek and soft big-babies, furthermore they have pretty faces. Urh. Handsome friends, don't. Pretty friends, don't. haha. And don't make me do it either... heh. Guns N' Roses sings Don't Cry.

Genting 07 - Those were the extremely fun times together [clockwise from top: X, Ye-Wheen, Quan Yu, Khang Yang, Jon & Hooi]

So, I stop acting and sounding as if I am going to space and not coming back.

JKJK Hike - The rainbow of homesapiens. Cheers and good luck in the school exams [from left: Kai Wen, X, Khang Yang & Janina]

Genting 07 - Stick together team! Andrew's the one with cool shades and Jonathan is at top leftmost.

I summarise: We had YW leaving us as early as January to KL for his Taylor's A-levels. Then we have Joel to 'exile' in NS. Jon, Hooi, Jona, Ky and I all went to offer our services to the society by working our ass of for pocket money which eventually went into the CC, arcade, GSC, Subaidah, many restaurants and for some, ahem, treating their female colleagues. So "kais pagi makan pagi, kais petang makan petang". Then, one by one of us resigned to start our search for education, but for some of us it is hell looking for the suitable course that is within our area of interest and of course, budget. It is not easy. The most free three musketeers that were Jon, Hooi and I went for a regular fitness building stint at the Penang Hill and Botanical Gardens. A free sting by an unknown insect too that hurt like being jabbed for me for no apparent reason. And training for our Hikathon event too. Nice participation.

Tell you what, pleaaase try to hike up early and come down early before night falls. We went through this experience and we can tell you how the lost hiker who was found dead after a few days felt. Yes, we were caught under the dark skies and dense jungle after not making it in time to descend TWICE! No la, we didn't camp we just find our way through the trees with a puny torchlight which Jon brought and luckily he knew the way down from Youth Park no.3 onwards. We were super horrified(we may look macho under the sunlight but you will not imagine how "chicken" we were in the jungle). BUT, we still managed to have fun like take ghostly photos and wasting time capturing the night life scenery. Another encounter was trying to reach point 84 before the paths become really invisible, it was going to rain too so no moonlight. From 84 it started raining so we ran, jumped, fast-walked, slid, fell all the way down using the tar road to Botanical Gardens. The next day, limping with strained knees. Ah, that's all for too much about our jungle boogie.

Then, it was around in April already(heh only 3 months ago). Oh, Mr. Andrew Ling's turn to leave the fellowship of the Singles, Virgins & Unemployeds. He left to Singapore for some Ah Beng objectives. 2 musketeers joined. They were Khang Yang and Jona. Yes, they just fired their bosses but I can't confirm whether they their single status and virgin-being. Movies, food and CC were our activities. 2nd time of Ye-Wheen's return to Penang and that's when we went to overnight as storytold in one of my earlier posts. Before he leave again, we all went to Pantai Kerachut, yes also storytold "recently". Nothing much have happened lately, just plain outings with food and games. The horny buggers went back to GSC to work, hopefully all their wages don't end up in their girlfriends' stomach again. Hell ok, the helpline password "wa bo lui" is a sign of distress when wallets get metabolized. KY on the other hand joined the unforgivens of Form 6. Most people were already enrolled and studying. What do you think of us? Shaking leg is the new niche.

In June, the people were back again. Ye-Wheen and Andrew. A short break. Even Hooi, hah one the original musketeer. You are the first to break free from our hedonistic cult. Nevermind, I am sure your dead damn stout rocker instinct will save you from being a Disted Boy. You know, pig-dogs. Yaha, after due consideration Form 6 abruptly became your place. Hell yeah, Wei Loon's going to the United States of America the future place for Barack Obama. Illinois to be precise. Without you, I am without the Admin section last year. Best wishes. Jon, another F6-shock-cult is also in Form 6 now... stay cool, your turn to whip outstation-ass will eventually make itself present unless Form 6 breathed new life into you. It's just a matter of time right and an in advance wish of good luck in your upcoming application.

So, the final chapter...my turn. Jonathan and I will leave the pack to KL. The Next 1 week break is in the end of August. If you are reading this on Sunday July 6th I am already registered into my universi..colleg...uni...coll...duno wat exactly it is, my new school la haah and checked in into my hostel room already. If you are reading this after Sunday, I am already enrolled, to study for my diploma. Finally huh. Well, to inform again for those who didn't know. My place, is Universiti Kuala Lumpur Malaysian Institute of Aviation Technology. Situated in Sepang. Close to Bangi and Kajang.

I will be without you all already, after so much fun we had together it's my turn to embark on the next journey. My destination: Jrock kingdom haaha. My secondary objective is to battle the all-star YW band heh. But I will go there unarmed first...lest any mishap loss of property occur in a strange new place.

From Online to Reality - XD hey Adelyn, thanks for this photo. You rily rily rily don't look bad here la. Cheers, friend.

Editorial Board 2006/2007 - Headbang days, but we still find time for quality bonding time [they are YW, Sze-Chuin, Ian, Joel, Wei Loon, Jonathan Toh, Marcus, Eric, X, Razeen, William & Kevin Seow]

Dudes and hotties, I really would like to express my regret and apologizes for all my wrongdoings and sayings towards you people. I mean, yes it's the end of a chapter and past is already passed. But I gotta bring this up, I can just sometimes think back and realised that I did utter and do silly offenses and at times insensitive. Now that I feel sorry I hope that they don't come in between our friendships. I divulge that they meant no harm in any way or just coincidentally derogatory, unfortunately. Oi bugger! Forgive me la! aiy.... =.=

Last but obviously not least, my family members. Sigh, what a great journey it was in 17 years, 7 months and 6 days of caring, pampering, feeding, educating, training and love. This does not need any Stresser talk on love. It's very cliched but still true. Love proves its existence in the actions. Dad. Mum. Bro. Aunts. Beloved late grandpa and late uncle whom with another uncle who hails from Australia who constantly generously helped us kids financially in education. It sounds like a very big deal huh leaving home to a place 350km away. Yes, I being a mummy-spoonfed-boy for almost 2 decades, am going to be independent already. woohoo.

Langkawi 06 - Itulah ayah, ibu dan abang saya. Like father & mother, like sons..

Blood, flesh, milk... & money - That's my papa and my mami.

Here's to a very last activity detail write-up. The very last. Before the whole fellowship was broken into a very small group of Form 6-goers. It was on Thursday. Had Khang Yang coming over to my place for a bath before he rushed to his Interact meeting. Then I do the fetching of friends with Jonathan already by my side at school and we went to have lunch together. Before our movie plan was a pit-stop at Hooi's home. There, I received a great treasure. A surprise. A masterpiece. A gift(wth, wrapped with ribbon but good not in pink color). Really, the word 'thank you' is not enough, not even any love-making...gay. Hooi went got me the latest Joe Satriani - Professor Satchafunkilus & the Musterion of Rock album. I owe Janicia a heartfelt thanks too for contributing in the purchase. Ah...what nice people I have in my life. Gotta appreciate people more already.. Hooi on the ribbon wrote a rather super condensed life summary of knowing each other since Form 1. Heck, I almost cried reading it. heheh.. Ok, we head to Gurney after that with KY. Hancock. Good. Inspirational. Dinner: cream, cheese, pasta, cream and overwhelmed stomach walls. Then the main dish of the farewell outing, CC gaming. Started at 9.30pm. CS. Warcraft. And Warcraft. Ended at 1.30am the next day. wouh. And yeah, driving super late at night is somewhat cool, minimal or nil traffic(hopefully no speed traps). My top speed is 89km/h. Didn't dare go any higher as I was already on the slope coming down with plenty of cars around. I will go 120 next time..hahah So that's it.

I am so happy. A good buy too, 1 CD and 1 DVD for a price of one CD

One final piece of information, my recent favourite TV show was a Japanese drama titled Attention, Please that was aired every Sunday 3-4pm on 8tv. I didn't watch it from the start but middle. This show has ahem pretty actresses-ladies. And the story revolves around this young air stewardess in training, Misaki who picks up everytime from where she falls and learns from mistakes to achieve better grades and be a good flight attendant. The show depicts the lives of these younglings who are undergoing their training stints in both the airport and in the plane(not just the cabin crew, the pilots and the maintenance department are included). So this show is cool, it inspires me and encourages me to aspire to a greater height.

hah, so fun for an ending. I was listening to Joe Satriani's Is There Love In Space album and my favourite is Just Look Up. So buddies just look up for me. I also mean, "don't look down on me!" haha. Do I sound like I am going to Mars or leave Earth for a mission to destroy some stray asteroids coming towards Mother Earth? ..emotional la...my first time leaving home u know and family and friends. Life goes on dudes and babes. This is only an opening to the new chapter of boundless oceans and vast skies.

The Aeroplane - Hopefully, I will.. in the future.

Future in the Dream - Soar, and I will bring the Gods down from above and that will be my ultmate Big Beng.

This would also be a last post. This blog is going down the memory lane and will finally meet the Gods. Yeah, just look up. It's been a hell of a great time connecting with you readers. No, not no more dreams but just for the reason I want to walk away.

That also means no more boring long posts. No more detailed outing accounts. No more confessions. No more grandpa stories for you. No more thoughts to share. No more stress to stress. No more inspirations for you people if ever any.

Merci beaucoup en au revoir

Ame.

[song title thievery from Beyond - Hoi Fut Tin Hong, thanks Yi-Wen for saving our past-we get to listen to this long lost song]

Ended this writing 4 days before departure, a month long compilation hehe..bye bye!

And that's me, waking up from beneath the waters...roarrrr =D

SHRED ON~