Saturday, 4 April 2009

59. Nothingness + Re: Buckethead & J-Rock

Ideals/Stress-talk
Here it is...
The best medium to suck this post up with is the Watchmen OST song by Philip Glass Ensemble (in filefactory)..load it!
By the way, I was somewhat involved in the Earth Hour event. Indirectly. Thanks to Jonathan who was in great support of the lights-off campaign, he persistently switched off everyone's lights. haha good one. And yeah I have a little wrong concept of the Earth Hour...I respect it for the aim to open up politician eyes. Remember people, remember Earth...I do have my share of love for Earth.

Meanwhile, I was preaching through the sms emitting radio waves and heat through the atmosphere to Hooi on the end of human inhabitancy on Earth. Cracked mind.

Re: Hooi
[A blog post I found which is dedicated to Buckethead too, http://musicmetalandstage.blogspot.com/]

And...this link here...a respect and dedication to the guitar and the mask.

So, there's Buckethead. If you're a childhood guitar fan, he's your masked hero swinging an axe which he used to "lick" and "chop" and produce extra-terrestrial melodies as such we used to enjoy during the times teachers and fathers use canes while we watch...Power Rangers.
The first original theme song that goes "Go! Go! Power Rangers!" was indeed written(should be) and performed by Buckethead. Now tell me who didn't listen to him... I did, most of us did. heh LTMAC

- - - - - - - - - - -

My main point gets its enunciation here. A statement based on what Hooi has written, that is most of us we try to mine for the answers to life, find the meaning of life and try to make life as worthwhile as possible. But as a complement, why not try look into Buckethead's picture or rather his face...??..I mean his masked face. Let's use him as an example and slowly digress the attention into something which I had in mind to write on some time ago.

The plain emotionless mask. What can we tell from looking at it. I reckon we as humans do always have a lot to say as some being judgemental when we come across to look at somebody's face. Bloody. Smiley. Angry. Flawless. Or be it arrogant. We could describe them in relativity. But how about like Buckethead's? What do we have in mind? It could be anything, you know. That's my point, there's a whole lot of life and mystery behind and in the mask. Visually emotionless, reality-wise undefined. Maybe there's no English word I have learnt to give it a description.

It's hard to define something that is showing nothing. Of course the simplest way is to say it's nothing. Now we will head to the source that prompted us to describe it as "nothing". There's What, Why, Who, Where, Where and How. I'm addding into this hole-ly sheet of concept the word "Nothing" as an interrogative subject.

But think deeper and unconventionally. Make yourself stupid for awhile and clear some brain space for some out-of-the-world deliberation. Not to the extent you lose your sanity...I'm afraid I will someday and be declared, "seorang yang tidak sempurna akal" and lose my voting legal right.heh.

Alright, let me refine my purpose of topic here. In short without any further thinking I'd say, nothingness in life. I'm going to hell-relate everything I thought of and wanted to write in here. Cos' it's going to drift away from my mind soon again if I leave this unanswered unquestionable questions unattended.

Just look at this. I always have something in my mind when I look at it. Questions kept creeping in for answers. Answers begging for definition. Definitions insisting on relativity. Relativity is relatively nothing if there is only emptiness and nothingness.
[A jester-like blood-thirsty-looking face...is it a funny jester? or is it a scary violent guy?]

So I feel nothingness and emptiness in it. But how do we recognize that void as nothing and empty.

And so sprung up a new wondering in the mind. Actually my mind. I kept thinking from time to time when I have nothingness in my mind before I lapse into dreamworld. What is there outside this world. And I mean this universe. Beyond the perceived dark black wall which is decorated with beautiful yet sad(because stars die too) lights.

TRY THINK! Try imagine what am I trying to ask about. Keep religion aside for the moment. Let's talk science..have I not search up the materials? No, ok I heard about all those superstring theory and 6-dimensional spaces and interactions. I've yet to read on that Elegant Universe (Brian Greene) book. ok then let's go beyond and way out of the state of science. Are we in a box or some polygonal container? Move on to something religion...so God created it, and then what's outside the "sandbox of castles and kingdoms of our world"? Heaven? Hell? Afterworld?

How about our conscience behind our existence? Take this life you're currently living right now. Is it the first installment of your soul or your soul have been travelling from body to bodies ever since God breathed lives into this world? Do you have memories or feelings from your past body or life? Then I wonder where will I head to after this life, if it's not Heaven/Hell/Nirvana/Suffering/somewhere eternal. That's the nothingness I can't manage to fathom any greater depths. Imagine being not alive. But not anywhere related to God or this Earth. Being nothing as named in English as "nothing". Scientifically, being not any matter at all.

[This guy an exception is a little bit different...dota players will know wat]

It's crazy. Or rather I'm insane. But I persist, I'm fanatical about the out of the mind. It's ok if you tell me I'm coming back as something biotic. Hmm..what if it's abiotic. For an example, reincarnation as a stone or the tiny silicone sand of a microchip -if you're talking about matters available/created currently in this life-. How about being plants, vegetables or trees? heh

This is a little different from what I'm expecting...an excerpt from The Great Compassion Mantra of Buddhism.
"..in emptiness there is no form, feeling, cognition, formation or consciousness; no eyes, ears, nose, tongue, body or mind; no sights, sounds, smells, tastes, objects of touch or dharmas; no field of the eyes, up to and including no field of mind-consciousness; and no ignorance or ending of ignorance, up to and including no old age and death or ending of old age and death. There is no suffering, no accumulating,no extinction, no way and no understanding and no attaining. Because nothing is attained, the Bodhisattva, through reliance on Prajna Paramita, is unimpeded in his mind. Because there is no impediment, he is not afraid, and he leaves distorted dream thinking far behind. Ultimately Nirvana!"
(I have no intention wherein I reproduce this text to promote or allegedly misleading people)

A concept of life strongly debriefed and that I refer to as a measure of our existence. Maybe I'm afraid of afterlife, that's it.

Anyone having any opinion or advice or answer(be it vague/self-ideal/religion/science/psychiatric or anyhow..)..as long as you have something to divulge or any form of enlightenment. Do post them comments or reach me through my email address(either known or by request).fuh..tiring I've been trying to imagine. I like to but it's just super unnatural.

- - - - - - - - -

Re: Cheng Yee
Words don't come easily. That's why J-Rock or the darker tones with emotions are conceived to help us feel and realise that we have a heart. @#$%^&* That's how YW and I got the hell out of headbanging way back in 2007, the year Despa, Diru and etc flooded into me. haha
As we all know, we Chinese people just can't try to follow in their footsteps to look like one of them...that's just plain lala with laughable hairstyles. Try-hards ya noe.. or self-proclaims. I respect a lot of the fans I know here...you guys don't at all try to look bullpoop..real faithful fan be j-pop or j-rock. Salute!

And let's be clear with the terms Rockstar and Rocker. A completely out of genre topic comparison is in Lindsay Lohan or...Amy Winehouse?? I'm not sure..they just got into bigger headlines with bigger heads as more money are channelled into them. So same goes to Rocker and Rockstar. The difference is in the attitude and style of expression. Synonymously, a Rocker may be as stone-cold as rocks..and add the star into it, you get something bright and shining with bling-blings and fame. Well, stars do lose their energy someday and die into a supernova.

It's all nevertheless a cycle..you see...in life. Before the end, it's just the matter of which path you take. And earning different karmas. Basic: Energy. To live. And die. Transform. hmm...

-- -- -- --

[]As a note, I write all these opinions and concepts that were under the name Stressm out of interest, curiosity and disability to understand as well as accept the available conventional resources in this world. I do not do extensive research as I did not wish to prove something new or something wrong. In the hands of all Gods and researchers and readers, I do not mean rebel or mislead. For some it MIGHT be blasphemy and heresy, these two condemnations are to my opinion an idealistic conformation to rejection. Forgive and salvage.

At the same time, I would love to compile all my maybe-delusional writings and write a thesis become a PhD...niceee but I would not like to see myself in such field and I am not going to find myself capable of devouring degree and masters in the future...an opposition to most of my family relatives who believe in, "read until there's no more books to read-get to as high a degree possible into knowledge".

Cheers. Live life first. We'll see what's up for us after life.
..well..Ministry of Sound/Euphoria here I come try this night..tagging with Jason and Mou Jian \m/,

[Buckethead photo taken from homegrownmusic.net. Power Ranger picture taken from comicsuperhero-wallpaper.blogspot.com. James #4 Root jester mask replica picture taken from..some store selling it. J-rock photos taken from Last.fm. Faceless Void picture taken from googling(online-station.net).]

[Good listen! Watchmen OST song-->]

Saturday, 28 March 2009

58. Tele-resurrection ~Internet

Back. I mean, yes return to the online world. With Streamyx.

This may in fact incite a drifting away relationship among us house mates. How, because each of us would be busy sitting in front of the screen being online then dining room casual conversations would slowly perish from practice. Never mind about that. No big deal. heh

So...play Garena!...Fix webcam...Fix Skype... if I find time for them...

Download music...

Continue the online lurking disease...

yeah of course, do research. No more excuses already.

My comment on Earth Hour thingy... everyone would seem to expend more energy cheering and facilitating the event. So eventually more or less the same amount of energy would be transformed to heat and detrimental passive forces. No hard feelings..heh make love with the lights off lo..

And yeah, there are great posts to savour and stand up for. Here's Hooi's
Buckethead dedication and Cheng Yee's J-Rock impression. Coming up soon, -a reply to these above interesting links. It will be written and posted on terms of my content and validity of my mind. I've lost my choices of words to use... If I have something to write then that reply will come true.heh

Saturday, 21 March 2009

57. Island Speedometer Tour

Friends & Family
30km/h

70km/h

...120km/h which is equivalent to 64.79 knots with negligible external forces such as pressure, viscosity and compressibility effects at sea level. That's practically achieved with a longer highway with no obstructing vehicles and a little bumpy road using an auto-transmission Kenari or Viva. Best spots in Penang(so far as tried): Jelutung Expressway and Jalan Sultan Azlan Shah from Bayan Lepas (highway leading to the airport).

Of course, beware of speed traps and hiding traffic policemen. And it's not worth it to lose your life on the road. Make it worthwhile by hitting the speed of sound woohoo..

Back to island for a week. Of course it's exhilarating..going through all the distinctive food in Penang. By the way, I came back by flight. I brought my Borneo friends for holiday here..since it's costly to go back there two times each semester. My first time by Air Asia. Low fares wat so I just tried. Inspection/audit on flight:
-Good condition of the plane (at least visually. Got the one with brand new ad on skin)
-All tight hot smiles from the red-jacketed ladies (the one demonstrating emergency measures was just 50cm from me)
-Good smellin' lavatory (I planned and purposed-ly got in..just to play with the flush)
-A hard touchdown but an overall smooth decelerating on the runway
-Delay of departure time by 30 minutes
-The plane flew straight into turbulence wooh..can see the bag compartment structure "detaching" from the fuselage cabin, just free tolerance movement between structures.heh
...hahaha alang-alang "cacing hendak menjadi naga"

Okay tell you what..we're not really good at tour guiding in our own state. So we just do..
-Teluk Bayan: Claypot chicken rice.Belacan fried rice.Hokkien mee.Hong Kong Chee Cheong Fun.Panggang stingray.Fried Oyster.
-New World Park: Mee goreng.Pasembur.Lam mee.Cendul....and a few something else.
-Fettes Park Hainan Western Food
-Jones Road: Loh Mee
-Queensbay: Kapitan nasi kandar restaurant
-Argyll Road: Roti canai
-Jalan Rambutan: Laksa
-Macalister Road: Town Steamboat
-Home: Dad tapao some koay teow th'ng back (duno bought from where)
-Chulia Street: Char koay teow. Curry mee. Wantan mee.
-Penang Road: Line Clear nasi kandar place
-Home: Mum tapao some hokkien mee and koay kak back (duno bought from where)
-Esplanade: Mee Sotong
-Jalan Sultan Azlan Shah: Joo Leong house ..hard to describe wat kind of food..got frog.
-Bukit Jambul flat compound under the trees place: Pan mee
-Queensbay Mall: Paddington Pancakes..

Missed out on:
-Gurney Drive hawker centre (better Indian/Muslim pasembur).
-Macalister Road: Mr Lim Birthday mee (Lam mee)
-Batu Lanchang market: almost anything there..all good and cheap
-and the overrated expensive char koay teow stalls
(in accordance only to my places of interest experience)
Visits and sceneries:
-Penang Free School...wtfreak enormous erected lighted banner...
-Gurney Plaza. and Queensbay Mall.
-Kek Lok Si temple
-Highways
-Batu Feringghi
-CC
-City/Town roads and buildings
-....nothing so much
----missed out on Penang Hill actually....

What's so good about Penang? The hospitality, homeliness and great variety of food. And narrow uneven patched roads.

Here's my faithful personal picks.
The black one is "strongest and oldest" like Viktor(Underworld) heh, it's really the oldest since its purchase in 2004. The edges are slowly wearing out following abuses over the years hah. Now I find it sounds good with classics and blues playing. And the green one symbolises hardcore and speed...I just feel it because I started to use it to play all those metal and it feels good. Flexible yet rigid. And it's ESP. That another one transparent is my new addition to my family. That block is a metal piece that I cut using a hacksaw to fabricate a mini hammer.

As for my Ernie Ball strings they still rock my underwears off. Bleeding bends still don't break them. haha

Coming up soon will be a post dedicated to my gears and material dreams.

And the perfect cruising lonely journey album (in car), Joe Satriani - Professor Satchafunkilus and Musterion of Rock.

Rainy. Wet. Strong winds. Thunders. Goodbye, back to brainwreckage workloading study..by bus.

[thanks to maps.google.com and wikimapia.org for the help of identifying the road names]
[Temple picture captured by friend Ben and not edited]

Sunday, 1 March 2009

56. I'm God...

Stress-Talk/Ideals/Personal
So how do actually people judge or view one another? How do people start to gain trust. How do people begin to have fun. How do people just find amusement and make life just so colourful and blossom with filthy immaculateness. Just some random(fun yet social abusive) topic to write on.

Attitude.

Behaviour.

Body language.

Gossip/reference.

Favoritism Judgement.

Face value(visual perception).

What I'm trying to bring to thought here is related to human physical and mental interaction which is not so into social-contact but includes more of the surrounding issues and especially which deals with the eye and the mind. At least, for comprehensive purpose I will write it in a more straight-to-the-point manner.

Take this, you walk into a place. And then you don't feel too comfortable. Either feeling out of place or when a lot of heads are turned facing you. Let's minus these instances such as unzipped pants, funny hairstyle, and outstanding visual values like pretty/sexy/handsome/big/great.
So what are the potential causes to the feelings concocted and blended through the nerves and be interpreted as a visual-environmental-tunnel-perplex in the head. Simply, you feel like people are looking at you for dunno wat reasons.

I've collected a few causes, sources of this "perasan" case. "Perasan" can be defined as being very aware of the surrounding interaction or being self-conscious. One obvious reason is of course being so self-conscious thinking that everyone would be looking at you. In short, vain.

So if it isn't self-conscious, what is it.
Inferiority complex.
Feeling inferior. Not so good huh. Feel that people are looking down at you. For no apparent reason apart from lack of self-confidence/esteem, you just feel like people don't accept the way you are there.

Reality status-discrimination.
Sometimes. For certain people. Sometimes people who got overflowing cash and beautiful paycheques just have different visions with levels of arrogance. But some really are different, the one who whose heads elevated and do not even take a glance. And sometimes the other way, like a super rich clean guy entering a poor slum.

Style.
This one surfaces more among young people. When rockers meet popstars, hip-hoppers battle disney-dancers or classical musicians drink with black metal worshippers. Goth vs mainstream. Sometimes the uniques catch discriminative attention and sometimes they get idol worshipped. But at times the simples get the thumbs down. Just about who turns up conspicuous.

The "in"-"loud"-"prominent"-"pretty" group.
This one also occurs more often within the young generations. Though, the elders usually get the attention either when they are a group of drinkers or a group of foul language loudspeakers. So, like this, the group with the most good-looking men and ladies. Or the one which could generate the loudest attention-seeking noise.

I could think of only those. Actually these are playing in my mind while being in the experience of going through different kinds of people or basically when you enter somewhere new to y-ourselves. A common but sucky, self-"de-personalising"(and at times against own principles) solution is to fit in. Think of it. Being new to a community who does something you don't do(or dislike) and then trying to fit in by doing it. The most fundamental explanatory example would simply be pick up smoking when everyone else around you smoke. Hey, you think it's foolish, yes but it's happening now in the schools, cities, suburbs and societies. Come on, the best example I can give you is, practically almost everyone smokes in my hostel last year.

Enough said, about fitting in or doing something common to feel right at place. Basically, I just feel uncomfortable when people turn their heads to look. It's without a doubt in fact a form of self-conscious. Because sometimes it's just a reaction for people to look up in attention. I know.

But, being totally out of place yeah out of Penang I can just feel it. And especially being from the obscure school distant from the place I always patronize. Today, I'm already quite settled at that vicinity but still, the complex in the head is still in the air. Totally chinese people...mandarin..chinese songs..."cool" hairstyles..plus real china people.

The stand-out difference that I can really feel is it doesn't happen with the overwhelming populated black people(africans/middle-easts/afric-americ). I have more due respect for them more than I have with the IIIothersIII. Forgive me for I myself being a Chinese saying things as such. I feel good and proud anyway being in a school with so few of my ethnicity. No I am not against my own race. I'm just a bit sensitive and have a certain social-mental distortion against that kind that exists in the race. You
KNOW what I mean.

Tagline:
It's so much easy to find Malaysian rockers among the Malays and find similar interest-bound clicks.

Of course, language does a little barrier to our social blender. hurh..In my opinion, in KL they insist on speaking Cantonese. Other place, Mandarin would be very much preferable. Although they have to learn English and BM to communicate with international students but they ain't like/gona speak other than Chinese with us, Chinese ethnic Malaysians. In Penang, heh simply easy Hokkien does the job. Most actually know mandarin and cantonese but come on, it's Penang our lingua franca is Hokkien. Foot to you mandarin in Penang haha.

This one is personal a bit(but not necessarily my incident). I just don't like when you people start to change language and speak to one another to discuss something else in a middle of a big discussion/conversation especially with people who don't understand. I just don't feel good, as if I'm in the plan to conspire, but actually I don't understand either. This is an example from my Moral class last year with the lecturer being the only Malay. And also Indians who do that switch of language. hurh..mana respect ni.

So back from digressing...that much is a subtopic of finding a living in out of place. Practically or basically that is, trying hard to retain and remain being yourself.

Like, I actually really lose myself when clubbing. Another kind of show of fitting-in.

When in a group, I feel safer and much more steady. But sometimes I do get out of hand especially doing a group thing. A basic form of joining in the fun.

If solo, that's really me myself and no influences except mind blowing pressure in the head thinking shits and fits while being alone with the past and future logs come crashing in suddenly. Could be saddening. Could be joyful which you might happen to catch yourself smiling and laughing by yourself out of the blue/green/black/red etc. Most of the time I'm humble and kinda the shy type.

What do you think? I always think of the James Bond cool way. Funny. In the end, I find myself turning my head quickly enough to avoid eye-contact but usually it's already too obvious when the girl I'm looking at turns to look back in the same direction. That is why I always do a quick-scanning..the hermit-timid kind.

ahah but when I'm full of confidence and brim-full of esteem I go crazy. Out of control. I totally unleash. Maybe that's the just my real personality. As for being ourselves. But I have a Stresser comment. What we do(peer/tv-influences negligible) is actually a form of being ourselves because that's us doing if not being possessed and when subconsciously we do not feel good after doing is because that is not what we like in our head but it's nature that our hearts guide the actions. This explains on how certain adults end up in a career different from their ambition...they go with the flow and for being themselves they just accept and decide on what they are capable of with limitations.

So if He's God..I'm Godder? Right. If they are cooler, we're just hot.

This is just an example of what I think is freestyle. It says, why worry?. Trying to grasp the stoicism and hedonism within the hair. Maybe Jonathan who always sleeps(a.k.a TuKia->hokkien-jaredi-pinyin) could explain..haah

*Tad-bits of bite for the season(new feature!!!): The scientific and logical fundamental of music is rhythm and sound come from everything that comes into contact and produces a pulsating waves that are interpreted as sound waves and be recognized as sound. And the root of production of sound could be hitting or knocking. Take pound on the table. Tap the feet. Knock on the door(not necessarily Heaven's). And repeated action of such in a faster(may it be aggresive) manner like knocking, stomping or talking(or shouting/screaming) is considered a progressive sound production. Talking/screaming is a form of melodic and varying pitch and frequency bounded waves that can be derived from a single note that comes out from the mouth. So? So in the events of those repetitions, noise, colloquially is produced as known as an unwanted/disgusted form of sound. So, yeah you can brand Rock/Metal music as noise. It's true but you just can't bear it. heh such fun.

Cos, "if it ain't Rock it ain't music"~Hooi's t-shirt, December 23, 2008.

In my opinion, overjoyful-mainstream/pop music is noisy. Bad mix of syncs...noisy howls. At least rock has its clear rhythm. Crispy. Even hip-hop heh. Anyhow, just find your favourite music and suck it up no one's vexin'.